Monthly Archives: April 2015

Trophy Trucks

Every time I have stumbled into ownership of truck I have sworn it would be my last. Trucks are useful, practical, and capable, yet also typical. My stubbornness is as much a vice just as it is a gift. I greatly dislike the boring drive, the sense of safety, seeing the same vehicle frequently, and the inefficiency when unloaded. A truck is such a practical choice that I resent it as a vehicle for myself, as childish as that may be. I respect trucks and am very glad they are around when my stubborn ass gets stuck in a snowbank or slight incline of ice in one of my 30 year old RWD rust buckets. When I drive a truck I feel like a sellout to myself, there is no sense of rebellion, no sense of uniqueness, it doesn’t fly around corners or drop gears and rev into sport-bike territory. Getting stuck isn’t a constant threat, neither is traction. I like the impractical even if it is…impractical.


I’m from Saskatchewan, THERE ARE TRUCKS. My family lives of roads that literally get closed to the public. Lifted 4x4s’ play on the driveways like it is a mudding hole with a sense of pride when they make it. I drove one of my AE86’s to death, driving everyday through a 100ft long 2ft deep pond in front of the gates, often water logging the electrical system and always opening my doors to let the water out from the cockpit. It was fun, stupid, and stressful, but the giggle I got from being so irresponsible is what made it so fun. People take life too seriously and responsibility is why they do, I understand that, it’s just not me.
The “Fort Mac” style of truck has been around for so long it is no longer relevant in any way. Jacked up diesels with bolt on flares and light bars, rolling coal might have shaken up the scene 15 years ago, but now every dealership has a leveling kit, rims and flares on most their lot. It was a pissing match at one point, those days are long gone, and there is no respect in doing what everyone else has already done. Sell your “Tap Out” shirt, Axe body spray and cover up that Monster tattoo.

Lowered trucks are a rare sight and only exist as reminder of the late 90’s, about as cool as upside down sun visors and S-club 7. Sometimes the past has a reason for being the past; cancel your order for airbags and tribal paint.

Rock crawlers and mudding trucks have their place and I often enjoy seeing them, because they are toys. They are made for fun and a purpose and get used for that purpose. They aren’t meant to be flashy, expensive, and practical or driven every day. I like that. You can tell a poser truck from a real one in a glance, battle scars and quick fixes litter a real toy, while chrome and expensive accessories reveal the fake as quickly as its nice paint. The personality oozes out of these able machines and I don’t care what form it takes, passion will always be cool to me.
50’s trucks and rat trucks will always turn my head but not much longer than that. A good restored truck is a beautiful thing and demands respect but for me it puts it back into the realm of everyday trucks, even a little bit less useful. The Rat rod scene has been overdone, everyone tries too hard and it has grown embarrassing and predictable. The zoomies and white walls next to the skull shifter and keg fuel tank is just verification of how unoriginal the originality is.

There is one type of truck that rules all; although your mind may jump to monster trucks, I dare say there is an even more badass machine. Not often spotted or even talked about but the popular truck scene seems to be catching onto them with small styling cues slowly, It makes me very excited to see if it becomes mass appeal. The overall problem with trucks is that they are slow around corners, heavy and inefficient. Lifting a truck makes it get over more things but makes it even slower in the turns. Modern Trucks seem to have power, clearance, and traction but no agility. When agility is added it becomes a new machine, A TROPHY TRUCK. I would be a very happy person to have my own trophy truck; it does everything and makes it look good. In pop culture I’m starting to see higher bumpers, longer travel without unnecessary lift, and wide body instead of flares. Once swing arms and tube frames become a popular trend count me in!

In the end of it all I respect any work anyone does into their passion whether it is on a truck or a civic. Those are not the right mediums for me but I understand we are all the same gear heads just doing it for different reasons and different styles, mediocrity and conformity will kill the human spirit in all of us and someone with true passion won’t give a shit what anyone else thinks about their truck.